Napoleon

I was a time traveller. I went back to the Napoleonic Wars era, in the middle of a battle. It was night. Cannons blasting, men charging and retreating, and Napoleon guiding the events. I pretended to be one of his most trusted colonels. The battle was going badly, so Napoleon decided that it was time to involve the local peasants. They were given torches and told to run around, lighting things on fire. The dry fields of wheat and barley went up in smoke. There was one peasant woman who had crazy-eyes; she ran towards me with a torch. I ran, but came upon a fence. While climbing the fence, I got stuck at the top, and then I got shot, and woke up.

Automattic Video Game

I dreamt I was in some kind of VR video game, maybe kind of like in the movieĀ Ready Player One? I was fighting with some of my Automattic colleagues; in particular, I fought against Daryl. My weapon: a tiny Christmas Tree which was also a sword. Other Automattic colleagues showed up and were not pleased at my transgressions, and also wanted to fight me. Since I was outnumbered, I decided to run away. However, our CFO, Stu, tackled me. I somehow managed to slip out of his grasp and climb over a fence, and escape.

I Was On A Rocket

I was in a big military base with a Richard Branson-like person (rich, long blond hair, eccentric ideas). He took me and my two boys into his rocket, which was shaped kind of like a lampshade. We launched, and he told me to put on an oxygen mask. Because of my glasses and the mask over my face, I had trouble seeing outside properly, but I did see some stars, and the International Space Station. However, the ISS was “pointing the wrong way”, so we couldn’t dock with it and had to come back down to Earth. At this point, the lampshade rocket stopped being a solid vehicle; all of us on the ship had to hold a piece of it in place around us. Fake Richard Branson held the cone of the ship over his head like a hat (by this time the rocket had become super-small, just big enough for the 4 of us). We landed but got ready for takeoff again immediately, because we had some urgent mission on the ISS to complete.

Trump and HNIC

I dreamt that I was in my old room from my childhood, in my top bunk. I was arguing with Trump about something. I called him the dumbest person on the face of the Earth. He got really mad, and Tweeted out an insult about me, except for some reason, he thought I was the head of the NHL player association (except instead of calling it the NHLPA, he called it HNIC (Hockey Night In Canada)). Still, several of my colleagues pinged me on Telegram (I remember @james pinging me in particular) to tell me “Watch out, Trump just Tweeted about you”, so I rushed to turn off my Twitter notifications before my phone blew up.